Speed dating in manhattan ny
That is what Tantra is about and it forms the backbone of the philosophy around Tantric dating too.
If you’re like me, the little you know about Tantra is informed by the much publicly-discussed sex life of Trudie and Sting, after Sting made a throwaway comment in 1990. And yet I remember it and can’t seem to erase it from my memory.
Each ‘couple’ forms a ‘station’ and at each station we do an exercise together that Guy talks us through from his prompt cards, like a gameshow host. For the first one – as I sit opposite a total stranger – we’re asked to list all the things we find beautiful about the person in front of us. Another exercise has us sitting down, mirroring each other’s movements, which ends up feeling like a contemporary dance. With the next gentleman, I must now hug him and apologise on behalf of all my sisters, which he feels sincerely grateful for. Though Guy is pretty chill, approaching life talking about personal energies and meaningful connections, he’s also thankfully a New Yorker and can crack a joke.
While I ponder on what they’ve done during the lifetime of this poor chap, his body is heating up like a roaring furnace and I’m glad when I can finally let go before all moisture evaporates from my body. At the end of each rendezvous, lasting anywhere between a minute and three minutes, Guy invites us to pop one of our beads in the man’s pouch, if we are interested in talking more, while they stand with their eyes closed. It allows us to laugh at the awkwardness of it all and, perhaps, cunningly, let down our defensive walls, allowing people in and deepening the connection.
The bold 50-something lady gives a frank ‘I want a lover’.
As does the late 40-something man that she towers over next to her. Despite the palpable nerves in the room, everyone seems to give an honest and straight answer. Am I meant to keep repeating the same thing over and over, or keep imagining up other lovely things to say about this complete unknown before me? You can opt out of any of the exercises but I don’t want to be ‘that’ person.
Back in the entrance of the yoga studio (which, incidentally, is fragranced like a 5-star spa), I’ve been handed a black pouch, full of cubes imprinted with the same letter ‘B’, which hangs from a leather thong so I can place it around my neck.
The men are handed empty pouches, each with a number on the front, which they too wear as jewellery for the evening.
One woman in her 50s, perhaps the most confident in the room, wears an interesting combination of cycling shorts, a crushed velvet top, trainers and blue eyeshadow and she stands, wide-stanced, hands on hip, in the middle of the space, eyeing up her prey. In general though, I see far more heels and way less Lycra than you’d expect in a yoga studio.
At the front its sits knee high, which turns out to be a mistake, as I have to try my best not to flash everyone during the many legs-crossed, on-the-floor exercises that come later.
Tantra Speed Date is the latest offering from Lauren Harkness and Guy Shahar, relationship and tantra experts and founders of The Tantra Institute.
There are a lot of tops and trousers with kitten heels and one women, who signs us in when we arrive, wears a sweeping floor-length red dress with white polka dots.
I also wear a dress which is floor-length, but only at the back.