Addicted to online dating
Truth be told, Mellody reveals that she herself was the inspiration that led her to research the subject, which led to her writing the book Facing Love Addiction.
“I originally really watched myself doing this crazy stuff and my partner reacting to me and me reacting to him,” she says.
Pia Mellody: Sometimes two love addicts get together and form what I call a dependent relationship, but they never go into treatment because they hang on to each other for dear life and go through life like that. If somebody can recognize it for what it is — love addiction — and not treat it as depression, rage or something like that, but recognize the dilemma this person is in in their own head and the cycle, they can get help. Is there a program you work, or do you have to go to rehab for treatment?
Of all the stuff that I do, and I have been around a long time and have written four books with two more in the hopper, this is what people really relate to.” What are the signs of love addiction?
Pia Mellody: The ideology of it has to do with neglect or abandonment in early childhood, where somebody is getting neglected or the parents aren’t really being very relational with the child because they are wrapped up in their own life, they leave or they die. Birth through five, if you have a lot of neglect in there and that continues that is when you will form these dynamics.
It is only when they go into withdrawal that they are treatable.
Sometimes they will kill their partner, sometimes the affair, sometimes both of them. There was an incident here where I live where a young woman was married to a policeman and had two little babies.